Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Renga




the back of the house
standing stone still, listening
hearing bamboo grow




Silently reaching
for a new day of brightness


*thanks to the walking man for the assist on these last two lines
================================================



a curious crow
digging the ground in search of
the last year's walnut


*thanks also to Human Being for this next haiku in the chain
=========================================================


dandelion on the lawn
always looks up at the sun

*two more from me
================================================

I watch you watching
little bugs, making their way
thoughtful stillness breathes


*a haiku from Harlequin
=============================================

Exchanging vision seeing
watchers in breathless exchange


*a couplet from the walking man
==============================================

silently watching
for a new day of brightness
Trembling bleeding hearts

*this segment from my friend Enemy of the Republic
======================

she loves these rare short-lived sparks...
which burn brighter than the sun...

*two more lines from teacher Crow
=====================

watering moisture
in brightness of rising light
burns darkness away

*another from the walking man
===================================

I haven't written haiku in a while and I forgot just how refreshing it is. Thanks to Christopher over at the Northern Wall for reminding me of how brilliant this form is, and for making me get out Lew Turco's Book of Forms. Turco says that the haiku is considered part of a tradition called renga, which in its early incarnations involved two or more authors, kind of a call and answer poem. The first three lines set the subject while the next two "amplify, gloss, or comment on the first triplet."

I'm wondering what you'd write for the last two lines?
Or for the triplet after that, or the couplet after that?

.

15 comments:

the walking man said...

While not a strict constructionist with most poetry Jon, I am wondering what form the 4th and 5th line should take?

5 syllables then 7 which compares to the first two lines?

Silently reaching
for a new day of brightness

Jon said...

Hi walking man,

I'm not such a formalist or constructionist myself, which is probably why I totally forgot to mention the syllable counts. I found a web site that seems to say it's 7-7...

LINKbut I really like what you have done with your two lines as they are... I'm going to have to look into this again I think...

Thanks for this...



**Maybe someone else knows more about this form of linking the haiku stanzas??? Would be curious to know...

human being said...

really loved these two parts... that element of change in both parts... wow!

Jon... that non-action Tao is beautifully depicted in your piece... when the real action... growth... is happening...

the third should be 5-7-5, eh?

so:




a curious crow
digging the ground in search of
the last year's walnut




:)

Jimmy Bastard said...

It was well worth the trip across to your blog.

Good stuff.

Harlequin said...

I am going to simmer on the next line after ... what a nice expressive exercise

but so touched by your lovely verse....

I watch you watching
little bugs, making their way
thoughtful stillness breathes

Jon said...

Harlequin,

thanks for dropping by, and I like the haiku you left.

What do you think of two lines for a link:

dandelion on the lawn
always looks up at the sun


..

Jon said...

the back of the house
standing stone still, listening
hearing bamboo grow

Silently reaching
for a new day of brightness

a curious crow
digging the ground in search of
the last year's walnut

dandelion on the lawn
always looks up at the sun

I watch you watching
little bugs, making their way
thoughtful stillness breathes

the walking man said...

Exchanging vision seeing
watchers in breathless exchange

human being said...

thanks dear walking Mark for those few moments of ephemeral but unforgettable joy over being truly understood... something happening rarely in the life of a crow...

she loves these rare short-lived sparks... which burn brighter than the sun...

namaste!

Enemy of the Republic said...

silently watching
for a new day of brightness
Curses! Foiled again!

Another haiku:

Trembling bleeding hearts
litter my kitchen counter
Taste great with cuervo


Yeah, it's fun to do haiku. One more:

The new world order
Pontificates peace and change
let's go to Pluto!

Enemy of the Republic said...

Opps, my haikus didn't reflect yours very well. Sorry. But it was fun.

Might try this on my blog (giving you full credit) on my next post, whenever that will be.

Jon said...

Hi friends,

I think we've got a pretty good poem here. I love all the voices working together, the echo I hear.

I've done something of an injustice to Enemy's lines and I'm going to drop her a note and see what she thinks before I put the other segments in the main post... but here's what I'd suggest:

===============

the back of the house
standing stone still, listening
hearing bamboo grow

Silently reaching
for a new day of brightness

a curious crow
digging the ground in search of
the last year's walnut

dandelion on the lawn
always looks up at the sun

I watch you watching
little bugs, making their way
thoughtful stillness breathes

Exchanging vision seeing
watchers in breathless exchange

silently watching
for a new day of brightness
Trembling bleeding hearts

she loves these rare short-lived sparks...
which burn brighter than the sun...

==============

Enemy of the Republic said...

I like!

the walking man said...

watering moisture
in brightness of rising light
burns darkness away

Harlequin said...

I like how you have woven this; it works!
what a lovely form of expression this is...both simple and immensely complex...a koan in form as well as content
what a treat!