Sunday, August 3, 2008

My relationship with fire

I came home from work with a headache. I walked through the front door and heard the sound of water in the shower, was going to call out to you when I heard another sound and noticed his boots by the door. I didn’t know what to think and so I just walked back outside, went downtown and had a coffee. It wasn't like I felt hurt. I was just taken back. It was only after sitting there for a while that I remembered -- I had been seeing someone else for months. And what did I do? I never said a word, and from then on I always called to let you know I was coming. Because people do whatever they have to do in order to make themselves happy , and anyways, who am I to judge.

14 comments:

Enemy of the Republic said...

Wow....

human being said...

hmmm...
no judgement... even when we are betrayed... ooops... even you don't call it betrayal...
thought-provoking...

something seems missing here...
i'll be back...
-------------------------

Jon... so happy you wrote... i really missed your words... always
strong... always impressive... and always human...
this one too touched... you shed light on the subject from a new perspective and... you did it so beautifully....

a bientot, mon ami...

Debra Kay said...

It's always hard to share.

American Hill BIlly said...

Ouch, Uh,

I am going to have to go out on a limb here. I think betrayal is described here, and I don't understand why people stay together with betrayal. That is the icky concept. Swingers stay together because; well short of much insight they have more of a life void of this "icky concept". I did have to bring that up because, well, c'mon, it seems as though most couples have their little lies.

Peace and Freedom

human being said...

Eureka!
found the missing thing...
help came from the hot tea i was drinking with my breakfast!

hot... fire...
"my relationship with fire"...
fire... passion... is this the reason for betrayal?... because the fire burning within is not quenched with the partner... so why not get help from another one?!!

and what about the betrayed partner... doesn't s/he have got any passion? should s/he just watch the fire burning somewhere else...? or go for it somewhere else!...

nope.... the thing is that we are here on this earth just to find our relationships with all the things on it... and is this relationship something fixed and definite? nope again ... it is everchanging ... it grows with us ... it matures with us...

this relationship here is not a mature one since it is not mutual(on the conscious level... it lacks affinity and also responsibility)... the two persons are not satisfied... love is misunderstood...

i don't believe that the persona is really accepting .... he is suppressing... he leaves... he's taken back... he doesn't remember what he has already known for a long time...

acceptance and the non-judgemental attitude is mature when coming after thinking and understanding the reason behind things... and when the awareness is upon us....
the imagery and mood here do not show any of this...

did the persona ask himself why another person is there? why should be... and why shouldn't?
and what is his own role there...
the answers would say about his relationship with fire...

sometimes we watch fire... sometimes we cook over it... sometimes we get warm with it... sometimes we set something on fire...
and sometimes we are reborn with it... phoenix
and sometimes we are its protector and guardian... dragon

and we may be doing all these... as we grow... as we mature...

oh.... thanks Jon... now i can understand my own trilogy on Betrayal much better... this piece helped me to delve deeper...

Hopper said...

As the Crow says... my relationship with fire...

BBC said...

Huh?

Fern said...

sometimes...
often
I cannot think of what to say after the Crow has spoken.
I just want to sit here.
silent.

Kind of like, BBC's "Huh?" but without the question mark.

Lynn said...

my cheeks are burning after reading this...I feel the sting the one walking in the door must have felt...even if he felt unjustified for feeling what he felt...

stung. I feel stung from reading it. Wow is right...it got to me.

human being said...

Jon, my dear friend...
sure these ramblings are my version... my relationship with fire... i always emphasize on this fact that what i write is the way i see the world...
we are just sharing...
and

my dearest Fern...
the crow hates herself for this... i love your words very much... you are always succinct and deep...
love to you

Fern said...

oh Crow...no no no.
I meant your words create a silence in me.

a stilling. not a smothering.

they are different.

human being said...

sure they are, Fern...
thanks
i'm much flattered...
lots of love
and big hug...

Sandra said...

I'm not sure if I had been in that position I would have been able to keep silent and walk back out the door. I would describe it almost as a strength- one that I don't have within myself. My reactions are always immediate. Even if I had walked in and found someone had been cheating on me, despite the fact that I had been cheating as well, I would still feel the burning desire to lay blame, draw guilt and would keep my own actions secret. Why? I couldn't say. Maybe I have too much pride, but not enough honour. Or maybe I am just a massive hypocrite.

But the way you wrote this was stunning. It says what it needs to say without being over stated and dressed up. I like that. Both simple and complicated.

xoxomirr said...

Yeah It was a pretty random stumbling considering I am from St Catharines. now I live here for work reasons! crazy! but I enjoy good writing!!