Saturday, February 14, 2009

If love is wrong I would rather bid farewell.

4 comments:

Hopper said...

My thanks for all the constructive comments on the last post... I think I'm going to leave this piece alone for a while... but I'll think of it as a work in progress... what happens in a lot of my writing is that I'm trying to make something coherent that is by nature abstract...

Aside from all the leads you provided me in your comments I got feedback from some people who I know are interested in theater... I sent them either a link or an email of the play...

One point was made that the cleaner doesn't really need to have a limp... it doesn't do anything to add to the play... and along those lines I agree... what I tried to do in this piece was to take everything that wasn't necessary away...

A point was made about the curtains... the front curtains that would be for the cleaner the back... who controls that... and again I tend to agree... I can't exactly account for it and I'm not sure it's necessary... I had lights in the first version... yellow floods and a shift to gray when the cleaner came in... took that out... and thought then about taking the curtains out too...

Derliwall had helped me do an edit of it and we were both interested by how easily the whole thing could unravel when you made seemingly insignificant change... how much depended on subtlety and stillness and timing... and as I think about rewriting the script that's just how tenuous each word is... perhaps also why I cut off at the point where the cleaner would have to say some lines of dialogue... what would I have him say?

I'll have another look at it again soon... work in progress...

Thank you all again for your continuing support and encouragement... I appreciate it...

Today's post is for the love in my life... because I think it is a way of life... a way that doesn't need a special day... life is love...

human being said...

it is the truest thing in the cosmos... the reason for the whole being...
it is life as you said...
and how beautifully you talk about it...

love to you
----------------------------

all the details in your paly had a thematic role... especially the limping...
think if Hemingway had read your play, he would have been glad for the way you'd used your rifle...

i'll be back to explain more... i'm on my way to pick up my daughter from school..
:D

Harlequin said...

In an almost completely forgettable passage from Zimmer Bradley's Mists of Avalon( forgive me...I am a pathetic Arthurian... it's haunted me all my life and brought me down many paths into the land of fairy...) the priestess Morgaine is talking to her grandfather, Merlin, and is desperately trying to hide from him her feelings for Kevin Harper (the future Merlin...another story...).
Merlin gazes at her with the kindest of eyes and says " never be ashamed of love, my Morgaine"

so, that's what this lovely little two - liner evoked in me, that memory of reading, the simple power of that sentiment, and the carnal commitment that it calls forth. Never be ashamed of love...to love, to be loved, to show love, to walk the paths opened up by love, to cherish the memories of love.... sweetness, bitterness, and sweetness again...
I am so happy that love is infusing your life and your craft, Hopper, and that you can unashamedly bear witness in your acts of expressing.

Human Being.....the Hemingway reference also opened up a memory.... the man himself addressing his groupies and critics after the release of The Old Man and the Sea....in usual irascible explication, basically telling them to effoff : it doesn't mean anything ( he is reported as saying) ...the old man is an old man, the sea is the sea and the fish is a fish....
he was an audacious ass, but that quote still makes me smile

warm regards...
Harlequin

human being said...

i'm back... and how soon!!
c'est la vie! imprévisible!
:)

if you've got a rifle hanging on the wall, it should be shot somewhere in the story...

this quote from Hemingway(not 100% sure...) is used by storywriters to eliminate the redundant...

i think here all the elements go well with the theme... the curtain too...

limping... what does it connote?
lack of balance... incompleteness... defect...

and who can tell that these ideas are not dancing gracefully in this play?

another tip:
if you prune too much, the garden dies....

and another:
critics should interpret the 'collective' dream of the artist... can they tell him/her how to dream?
:)

thanks again...
i'm going to put a link to this in my blog...

Harlequin... really good things you often remember...
;)

and
a special thank to Derliwall the philosopher-editor...