Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Manifestations

Before I came to be I was nowhere. I'm nowhere now. I've been more and less present to dwelling on words, not the meaning but the way I say them, their relationship to silence and absence, the expanse about the syllables in the air. I think I should move on.

I awoke curled into the side of a mountain, a stone among the snow. Less I was the mountain or a tree, a stroke of lightening on the Liffey, unheard of as a story for gulls. Their battles are so fierce because the stakes are so small. Where was I then? Was that Swords or the Battery? That was wassisname's pub, wasn't it? More I think of it, it was Old Christmas Day, begging grog with boots on my hands and a cloth over my face to hide the scars. They all let me in. They know that I'm half-ways in, something left unfinished. Where are they going? I don't know. This isn't where I thought I was.

I remember a time before I left, but not well. I shudder to think back though it seems like only yesterday, or earlier tomorrow? Less I was a child and still an old man. Every word I spoke canceled out the rest and in the end I'd said nothing, just built mounds where I stood waiting for the end. Those apparitions showed themselves to me, though perhaps they never did. I tasted them with trembling, shivering down my spine, walking over unmarked graves, over crawling skin. Was that me underground, sinking lower than a sunset over all the unsympathetic miles? When I wake up I’m still gone and I never wake up, keep moving in a dream as notes falling from a piano to snow hanging in the air to days stolen from behind. Will I remember when the sun goes down? Will I be jealous of the night? Will there be lions? If there are there will be.

16 comments:

Shubhajit said...

Great philosophy, realistic thoughts and not least, simplification of life complexities.

"dwelling on words, not the meaning but the way I say them"
"Less I was a child and still an old man."
"keep moving in a dream as notes falling from a piano"

These three phrases touched me the most.

Fern said...

who was it that once said your words are sometimes like a prayer?

I agreed then and am feeling it here again now...a prayer or a spell maybe.

either way there's magic in them thar words, by golly.

I'm spinning.

Bird said...

haunting ... evocative.

Harlequin said...

Beautiful, swirling trail of smoke and mirrors through these most recent posts...Manifestations, Short Play and Adaptation...
smoke swirling through like a mercurial sherpa and mirrors...reflective, reflexive, recursive....

a courageous engagement with threshold and liminality, embodied and bold embrace of both/and, wrapped up with the words' relationship to silence and absence, the expanse about the syllables in the air....

it was the syllables in the air that caught me on the third or fourth ( or fifth?) read...
(un)less I was a child or still an old man...(un) less I was a mountain or a tree... I love how you did this...so consistent: give the clue and hide the evidence... lovely...and, following Fern, magical;
one of my favourite philosophers claims that we--humans--are condemned to meaning...you can run but you can't hide..whether or not the words form shapes on your lips, the body grasps the fullness of what is carried by way of saying...once you've heard the call, there is nowhere you can go to hide from it, but that's Ok for you, Hopper, that's where you begin in this post: nowhere.

while Beckett is singing, maybe the lion sleeps...tonight..
thanks for how this post felt....
Harlequin

goatman said...

I am awed. This takes me to a different place where I do not mind being.
You hiding from yourself, then noticing maybe. Very nice

Oh . . . I followed your crumbs over from Echo

human being said...

i want to see the face
underneath the cloth;
i want to touch the scars
that frame the moth;
i'm not a healer
but a dealer
trading dent-de-lions
for lions...

/t. said...

beautiful!

i like this
and the mix of
works on this blog

and a "hello" to the bird in passing

/t.

zoinkyzooz said...

I woke up on the side of a hill,
lush and green with emotion.

benjibopper said...

kind of a taoist philosophy woven into this one, a nice depth even in the simplicity of the words.

DeLi said...

like bird,
your thoughts haunts me..probably becuase i foray along that thoughts too......

BBC said...

Before I came to be I was nowhere.

That was so many billions of years ago, oh hell, never mind, I've given up on you monkeys understanding me and us.

Yesterday's Rain said...

Oh, I wish I had more time for this part of my creative being. I believe the people who think they know me well would not really understand this part of me. Perhaps they are missing out on something, maybe I am... isn't life full of those ever present enigmatic circles. Yet life is consuming and it seems the time is coming to bid farewell, a silence is slowly filling my heart.
You are gone again, maybe you are like me and some days would disappear into yourself. When I stop by here I what to write, usually I express myself through graphics and color. Would it surprise you that I am a Pisces?
Thanks so much for your comment. I will have to read some writing by Sam Beckett now, as I am not familiar with him. Would you care to make a suggestion on which to start?
Even in the darkness one can feel silence...

Citizen of Earth said...

Such is the awakening for all of us
Are any of us truly were we think we are?
Can we really know where “here” is?

Ask me not for understanding
Understanding is not mine to give
Only enlightenment

When the manifestation
Exceeds our knowledge
And our past experience
Realization occurs

If you are lucky

Maggie said...

what a treat
wonderful
lots of food for my muse here

KaliDurga said...

"I've been more and less present to dwelling on words, not the meaning but the way I say them, their relationship to silence and absence, the expanse about the syllables in the air."

And a link for you, too (scroll down to the Hirschfeld poem).

Jon said...

thank you all for your thoughtful comments. I'm sorry that I haven't been more attentive to this site lately. I'm going to try to say hello to you all soon.

Jon