I write these words only for myself... I write the whole day through... letters and fiction and truth (as true as true can be)... I try to tell the story that's eluding me... the one that got away... and all I have left to go on is this hook... bent into a ring that's never going to be a circle... I've got a pen and some paper... a clipboard that says... HOW ON EARTH DO YOU LOSE 5 BILLION PEOPLE... when all I can think about is how I lost one... how I lost myself and I write the whole day through... a dream beyond hope that you would come back... as some would count beads on a rosary I count the syllables on this page... a pagan prayer to no one... instead of alone...
6 comments:
you are a very interesting, arrestingly interesting person
Grief is such a strange thing-and one we don't talk about much. I'm glad you are talking about it, it helps me to talk about my own. I'm not sure why we don't talk about it-dismiss it as invalid-and I guess I may never know, because we don't talk about it....LOL.
Still, I can (of course) trace a lot of our current ills to the fact that we suppress and don't fully grieve. Without grief, we cannot have true joy-I can't prove it, but I believe it.
I hear you.
There was a time
That I wrote
Just for her
My love
My muse
Songs
Poems
Celebrations of life
And love
She accepted
My words
Hungrily
Yet with grace
And she adored me
Even in the late hours
Of lonelyness
When she had her fill
Of words
She shrugged
And moved on
Did not look back
Did not say goodbye
I fell silent
For over a year...
...
...
...
I never cried
But I wish now
That I had
My heart aches for you and your loss.
I hope I am around when you find another worthy of your love
As I would love to see your joy.
I'm sorry you are in such pain. I agree with the others, it is good to grieve and acknowledge the grieving. Wonderful that paper and pen are your companions. I have written and written for years all the sadnesses and sorrows that befall me. The page accepts them all. Blessings, Suki
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