A voice leaps from a still spring
it's a duck's voice that leaps out from the still spring,
the voice of a lone albatross,
Still, the voice springs though no one can hear
no one can hear the voice from the still spring
that befalls the abyss of an indifferent world
A spent, drained world ripe for a turn
Spent, almost dead, or maybe a slight flicker?
One flicker. One breath.
I see.
See beauty in the abyss of a lone albatross, the leaping voice, the spring now still
seeping beauty, showering grace, shedding light -- its solitary insight
A beautiful voice, alone not lonely
An abyss as deep and still as the stream serves to shatter the silence with resonant glee
The voice leaping from the spring is the echo of the only sound there is...
Ommmmmmmm...
This is another chain poem. If you'd like to participate please check the comments section and add a line at the end of the chain. It is easier for the next person to know where they are if you re-write all the lines which precede yours.
RULES:
1. This chain is called ECHO and in order to get that effect I require that you repeat one word (or make a rhyme with one word) from the line before yours.
2. Please use plosives. Plosives are hard "P" or "B" sounds. A good way to conceptualize this is to pretend you are speaking into a microphone. Often p's or b's POP into a mic. Sometimes plosives are useful (say if you wanted to write a poem about a pipebomb you could use a lot of them so the poem sounds like an explosion). In the same way D.H. Lawrence used a lot of "S" sounds in his poem, Snake, to make the words slither and hiss down the page. This is an example of the sonic quality of the words we choose. In this chain hopefully the effect will be that the lines bounce from one another like a beach rock thrown down a ravine.
3. You may add more than one line if you wish.
The first line:
A voice leaps from a still spring
21 comments:
A voice leaps from a still spring
It's a ducks voice that leaps out from the still spring.
[Footnote] A ducks quack does not echo.]
Hmmm... interesting start... mind if I abbreviate your line a little... so it can lead into line three??? and I'm pretty sure [regards your footnote] all sound echos.
A voice leaps from a silent spring,
a duck's voice leaps to the air,
the voice of a lone albatross
A voice leaps from a still spring,
a duck's voice leaps to the air,
the voice of a lone albatross
Still, the voice springs though no one can hear
(I changed the first line back to the original still spring but the line would work either way.)
Ok... this is a real great start...
A voice leaps from a still spring,
a ducks voice leaps to the air,
the voice of a lone albatross.
Still, the voice springs though no one can hear
A voice leaps from a still spring,
a ducks voice leaps to the air,
the voice of a lone albatross.
Still, the voice springs though no one can hear
no one can hear the voice from the still spring
that befalls the abyss of an indifferent world
You may delete this comment, it's your blog so you can do anything you like with it. But !!
mind if I abbreviate your line a little... so it can lead into line three???
Yes I do mind, allow what I say or delete what I say. The poem would have lead into line three in any event. It would have just evolved into a different poem is all.
And I dare you to prove to me that all sounds echo, I'm willing to put a hundred bucks on that, want to take me up on it?
A voice leaps from a still spring,
it's a duck's voice that leaps out from the still spring,
the voice of a lone albatross.
Still, the voice springs though no one can hear
no one can hear the voice from the still spring
that befalls the abyss of an indifferent world.
A spent, a drained world ripe for a turn
A voice leaps from a still spring,
it's a duck's voice that leaps out from the still spring,
the voice of a lone albatross.
Still, the voice springs though no one can hear
no one can hear the voice from the still spring
that befalls the abyss of an indifferent world.
A spent, a drained world ripe for a turn
Spent,almost dead,or maybe a slight flicker?
A voice leaps from a still spring,
it's a duck's voice that leaps out from the still spring,
the voice of a lone albatross.
Still, the voice springs though no one can hear
no one can hear the voice from the still spring
that befalls the abyss of an indifferent world.
A spent, a drained world ripe for a turn
Spent,almost dead,or maybe a slight flicker?
One flicker. One breath.
I see.
A voice leaps from a still spring,
it's a duck's voice that leaps out from the still spring,
the voice of a long albatross.
Still, the voice springs though no one can hear
no one can hear the voice from the still spring
that befalls the abyss of an indifferent world.
A spent, a drained world ripe for a turn
Spent, almost dead, or maybe a slight flickers?
On flicker. One breath.
I see.
See beauty in the abyss of a lone albatross, the leaping voice, the spring now succulent
sorry the line breaks are different, that's how it came out when i retyped the poem. Maybe there is some other way to repeat the poem in the comment other than retyping???
not at all... sometimes breaking lines is useful... no need to apologize...
A voice leaps from a still spring
it's a duck's voice that leaps out from the still spring,
the voice of a lone albatross,
Still, the voice springs though no one can hear
no one can hear the voice from the still spring
that befalls the abyss of an indifferent world
A spent, drained world ripe for a turn
Spent, almost dead, or maybe a slight flicker?
One flicker. One breath.
I see.
See beauty in the abyss of a lone albatross, the leaping voice, the spring now succulent
seeping beauty, showering grace, shedding light -- its solitary insight
[sorry, i actually tried retyping it in to get the line breaks right, hope i didn't mess anyone's lines up] ...
A voice leaps from a still spring
it's a duck's voice that leaps out from the still spring,
the voice of a lone albatross,
Still, the voice springs though no one can hear
no one can hear the voice from the still spring
that befalls the abyss of an indifferent world
A spent, drained world ripe for a turn
Spent, almost dead, or maybe a slight flicker?
One flicker. One breath.
I see.
See beauty in the abyss of a lone albatross, the leaping voice, the spring now succulent
seeping beauty, showering grace, shedding light -- its solitary insight
A beautiful voice, alone not lonely
An abyss as deep and still as the stream serves to shatter the silence with resonant glee
Once again this is going better than I had envisioned... thank you all for your thoughtful lines... seems like we need a couple more to tie it all off... hmmm...
The voice leaping from the spring is the echo of the only sound there is...
Ommmmmmmm...
I dont believe I wrote the spring now succulent but rather ended with still. Are you free to edit our words at will?
sukipoet: i didn't edit your comment... i wouldn't... it read succulent... i'll change it to still...
============================
A voice leaps from a still spring
it's a duck's voice that leaps out from the still spring,
the voice of a lone albatross,
Still, the voice springs though no one can hear
no one can hear the voice from the still spring
that befalls the abyss of an indifferent world
A spent, drained world ripe for a turn
Spent, almost dead, or maybe a slight flicker?
One flicker. One breath.
I see.
See beauty in the abyss of a lone albatross, the leaping voice, the spring now still
seeping beauty, showering grace, shedding light -- its solitary insight
A beautiful voice, alone not lonely
An abyss as deep and still as the stream serves to shatter the silence with resonant glee
The voice leaping from the spring is the echo of the only sound there is...
Ommmmmmmm...
The poem turned out great.
I wasn't quick enough to get in on this chain poem...but I will catch the next one!
Pretty cool, hopper.
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